Heart Rebuilt

Going through betrayal is one of the most difficult experiences I’ve ever faced. It’s incredibly painful, and I know many others are going through it too. If you’re one of them, I want to assure you: you are not alone, and your life doesn’t end here. This can be the beginning of a healthier journey and a new perspective on life.

Before this happened to me, I never fully understood what it meant when someone said they were going through infidelity. I knew it was painful, but I didn’t truly grasp the depth of the trauma and emotional damage that comes with betrayal.

My decision to stay was first for my kids and then for myself. My children are still so young—10, 7, and 5—and the thought of putting them through a divorce broke me. For myself, I realized I wasn’t ready—emotionally, mentally, or financially. I do have a job, but it’s not enough to support both myself and my kids on my own. Depending on child support was never an option I considered.

Beyond all of that, I reminded myself this was the first time my husband had cheated. He promised to end the relationship with the other woman and work on our marriage. So, I decided to forgive—but with clear expectations. If those expectations aren’t met, that means he’s not ready to commit to the family. In that case, co-parenting would be our only option, and the marriage would be over.

Even though divorce wasn’t my first choice, I knew I had to take this as a sign to reevaluate everything and start my healing journey.
The first step I took was therapy. I used the BetterHelp app and found a therapist with a Christian background, which was very important to me. Therapy helped me express my emotions, but for the first two months, my therapist noticed I was constantly blaming myself for my husband’s cheating.
I kept wondering:

• “Maybe it happened because we didn’t go on dates often—we were always busy with work or the kids.”
• “Maybe I wasn’t giving him enough sex.”
• “Maybe I wasn’t enough.”

I was desperate to understand what I did wrong or what I failed to do that pushed him away. But my therapist gently helped me see the truth: I didn’t cause him to cheat.
Still, it was incredibly frustrating to realize that someone else’s mistake could break me, send me into depression and anxiety, and completely derail my life.

At the time, I was in college, I was working, and I couldn’t focus. The emotional pain was overwhelming. I was angry—angry that someone so selfish and lacking in discipline could cause such destruction in my life.
But I was determined to heal and move on—as if it never happened. Unfortunately, that’s not how healing works.
The brain doesn’t just forget. The memories stay—the images, the text messages, everything I saw.

By the third month, I started feeling a little better. But I still have ups and downs. Some weeks, I feel okay—like nothing ever happened. Then the next week, I feel overwhelmed with sadness and anger, especially knowing I still live in the same house with someone who risked losing me and didn’t seem to care.

Yes, it’s a real struggle. The mood swings are exhausting. But I have faith in God that I’ll get through this, and one day, this pain will go away.

To help myself heal, I’ve tried to stay active. I joined a local running club, which has helped me meet new people and stay busy. Life hasn’t been the same, but I’m doing my best. I spend more time in prayer and listen to uplifting podcasts, especially those about side hustles and financial freedom.
Right now, my focus is becoming financially independent.
I don’t want to feel trapped because of money. I want to have options. I want to make better decisions for the sake of my well-being and peace of mind.

I’m curious—how did you heal from betrayal? Whether you chose to stay or leave the marriage, your experience might help someone like me who is still walking through this painful journey.

Thank you for reading.